A few weeks ago something truly frightening happened. If you watched my Instagram stories, you saw how genuinely terrified I was when what started as a scream outside my window, turned into something much worse.
It was a Wednesday night, I was at home by myself, per usual, and I suddenly heard a loud, and I mean very loud, scream outside of my window. I immediately rushed outside and heard a woman crying and then saw a man out of the corner of my eye scurry away in a hurry. As neighbors watched, I screamed, “Are you ok? Is everything ok?” I couldn’t see her because her car was parked and she was on the other side of her car. So I just kept screaming to try to see if she was ok. After a few minutes, she came over to me and said, “DID YOU SEE HIM? DID YOU SEE WHAT HE DID TO ME?” I said that I didn’t see what had happened, but that I did see him run away. As she was crying she said, “He was dragged me by my hair across the parking lot!” At that point, I really didn’t know what to do. She was visibly shaken, understandably so, and I asked her if she wanted me to call the police and she said she was ok and that I shouldn’t call them. She also kept apologizing, as if she had done something wrong, and she also let me know that she lives directly above me. Of course I told her that there is absolutely no need to apologize, that she did nothing wrong, and if he so much as touches you, you better come to my apartment and stay here.
Around 30 minutes later, I turned down my television, and I heard her crying loudly, and arguing with her boyfriend. And then the noises started… LOUD, and I mean LOUD, things were being thrown on the floor. I didn’t know exactly what it was, but it was enough to make me jump out of my seat every time and become very concerned. I rushed upstairs, quietly place my ear on their door, and I could hear her crying, and they were screaming back and forth at each other. At this point, I said ok, it’s time to call the police. So I did… and waited, and waited, and waited.
When I went back downstairs to my apartment, I suddenly heard her scream, “HELP ME, HELP ME, HELP ME!” I called the police again because I couldn’t do anything at this point other than have the police handle it. I waited 5, 10, 20, minutes and walked outside so that I could let the police know exactly where they needed to go. As I was waiting outside, probably not the smartest thing to do, I saw a guy hurriedly walk outside with a couple of bags packed. He threw some things in the back of his truck, and then I saw him hop into her car and speed away. As soon as the police arrived, at least 30 minutes and 3 phone calls later, I told them where to go and what had happened. They hurried upstairs, and spoke with her for about 30 minutes. The police came back down to my apartment, and told me that this gut was a VERY bad guy, and that he had stolen her car. They assumed that he would be back soon, so they said they would be hiding on the property and to keep an eye out for the car and when I saw it to call 911. Around 20 minutes later, I saw the car slow down near my apartment, and then speed off. I called 911, and not more than 10 minutes later, did I hear, “DON’T MOVE! YOU ARE UNDER ARREST!” I peaked outside of my door, with tears streaming down my face, as the guy was arrested.
When I went inside, I literally couldn’t stop crying. I felt terrified for her and what she went through, and I only hoped and prayed that she would never ever go back to this monster. It was also personally scary for me to know that this guy, who I had seen before, walking his dogs in front of my apartment, lived right above me, was abusing her girlfriend. One only knows what he is capable of, and once he gets out, what he will do to other women. Being a single woman, it’s terrifying to think that this could have just as easily happened to me.
About a week later, I saw her coming inside the apartment building, and stopped her to ask how she was doing. She kept thanking me, as we were both tearing up and I said, “I hope you know that it’s simply never ok to be treated in this manner, and I don’t know you, but I do know that no one, and I mean no one, in any loving relationship, should be subjected to this type of behavior. I hope that you never go back to him because you know he will do it again and again.” She told me that they had been together for seven years and that it had never gotten this bad. Then she said, “But this time was different, it got so bad that I lost consciousness.” I didn’t ask for anymore details, but at this point, I was just happy that this awful guy was in jail, and of course, I felt horrible for her and what she had gone through. I told her that she should block him from everything, and she then mentioned that he had been attempting to get in touch with her, and she wasn’t sure when/if he would be out of jail. After that, of course I let her know that if he comes back, to let me know and she can come to my apartment anytime.
As I mentioned before, I posted a long Instastory while this was all going on. I was crying, and honestly terrified the entire time. People began to text, call, and respond to my story asking if I was ok, and most surprisingly, telling me about how they had personally been affected by domestic abuse. There were about a handful of people who came forth telling me about what had happened to them. Not only was I shocked, and personally honored in a way that they felt comfortable enough to tell me about their stories, but it was so incredibly sad to think that so many people are affected by this, and it truly shocked me.
After the realization that this is much more of a common issue than I ever knew, I that I should speak out about it further on my blog. Obviously, I’m here to vent and speak with anytime, but I feel like I should let each and every one of you know that being in any type of physically or mentally abusive relationship is simply never ok.
KNOW THAT YOU DESERVE BETTER. YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THAT. AND YOU CAN MEET SOMEONE WHO TREATS YOU THE WAY THAT YOU DESERVE TO BE TREATED!
It doesn’t matter if you are married, been together for 8 years, or have kids; this is absolutely NEVER acceptable in any situation. I guarantee, while I know it will be difficult to rebuild your life, it will be worth it in the end. And as always, if I can do anything to help, I am here!
If you or anyone you know who is in an abusive relationship, you can receive anonymous help at Hope’s Door New Beginning , in the Dallas area here is a list of local organizations that can help, or call 1-888-799-safe .