Dating. Insert eye roll face emoji here. I’m currently on 4 dating apps; Bumble, JSwipe (yes, the Jewish dating app), Tinder (my eyes are rolling again as I type this because it’s such a joke), and The League (which has proven that even when it’s an “exclusive” app, I still see the same 100 men on it). Some people might say that 4 dating apps is a lot, while others might think that 4 isn’t really that much. But for me, I personally feel it’s a lot and something that I have noticed is that constantly swiping left and right is taking up a lot of my time. I find myself swiping when I’m bored at home during commercials, anytime I’m alone sitting by myself at a restaurant, and even when I’m at work not doing anything. It has become an addiction of some sorts and I have some to realize that I need to not necessarily stop, but focus on other things for now.
The past few months have been emotional, exhausting, and draining. I have stopped writing my blog, and I have started focusing on other things, which hopefully will come to fruition at some point soon (PLEASE HAPPEN SOON), essentially stopped doing yoga, stopped reading books, and stopped going to my therapist. I think overall, I have stopped doing things that are healthy for me and focused on things that maybe I shouldn’t put so much emphasis on, such as dating. I just feel SO much pressure to be in a relationship and I feel like the only thing I am in control of when it comes to dating is dating apps. I can keep swiping, keep matching, and keep going on these sub-par dates. I think sometimes going on these often meaningless dates make me feel validated in that it makes me feel like men still find me attractive and interesting. But honestly, while I do think it is important that you always try and never give up when it comes to love, sometimes there are more important things that you need to focus on first before you can be best prepared to be with someone else. I look back to a year ago, which was around the time that I started this blog, and in a lot of ways I feel as though I have taken steps back in regards to my mental health and well-being. Hopefully this month of me not swiping will allow me to take a break with the dating apps and focus on things that help me mentally and physically. So here are my rules for no swiping May:
1. NO SWIPING on any dating apps. I don’t have to delete the apps, but there won’t be one swipe left or right at all.
2. I’m allowed to go on dates, but not with any new matches though apps.
3. If I have already matched with the guy before May and you message me during May, I will reply (given that I’m interested).
Most of you know I recently went on a major trip to Colombia and Guatemala, which I will discuss in later posts, and after taking a boat, 4 hour shuttle ride, 2 flights and about 15 hours later, on my last flight home I sat next to a pretty nice guy on the airplane and we ended up chatting for 2 hours. I worked up the nerve to say, “hey if you are ever in Dallas (he lives about 40 minutes outside of Dallas), let me know and we can go out!” He said, “I would love to! And got my number right away.” Later that week, he texted me and asked me to go out and we ended up having a pretty good date! So another challenge for myself during the month of May is to go outside of my comfort zone and ask a guy for his number and maybe even on a date not via a dating app. One thing I appreciate about dating apps is that it takes away a lot of the unknown when it comes to why we typically don’t approach a person. For me, I know I get insecure in not knowing whether or not the guy will think I’m attractive or even if he is single! But I’m determined to do it regardless of the outcome! Who knows, maybe I’ll find my soulmate in my yoga class, at a bar, or maybe even at the grocery store! You never know till you try, and I feel like these days unfortunately asking people out on a date in person is a lost art, so I’m going to bring it back!
The month of May is going to be full of challenges mentally and physically. Here are my personal challenges for the month of May:
1. Write 3 blog posts
2. Take at least 3 yoga classes
3. Read the book I just bought
4. Go to 1 therapy appointment
5. Go up to a guy and start a conversation
It is going to be a busy, but awesome month, I can feel it! I also challenge all of you single folks out there to do the same! Put down the phone and the apps, and say hello! And of course, let me know how it goes! You never know, you might be the next one writing the blog post! 😉